By Sangeeta Relan
Happiness, as they say, is a state of mind. We all want to be happy and always look for ways and means to make us happy. However, most of the time, we put our happiness in other people’s hands. We like to believe that being happy means being with others and spending time with them. While it is true that we are social animals and hence need people around us, it does not mean that happiness can be attained only in the company of other people. Several times all we need is a bit of solitude, a bit of being on our own, and spending what they call’ Me time’ to bring that joy into our lives.
But unfortunately, being alone is associated with being lonely. Right from childhood, we are made to believe that we must always have people around us or we will get lonely and bored. We are trained to think that alone life is not the right kind of life. And if we lead that life, we might be viewed as a loner or a recluse. So if we want to be happy, we must be in the company of other people. Nothing could be farther from the truth than this. In fact, learning to enjoy our own company is the best thing we could do for ourselves because I believe doing that is a step towards being self-reliant.
I also believe that when your happiness is in question, why should others be in charge of it? You want it, so you take control of it. Why should you look at others to make you happy? Look within yourself, do some soul-searching, and find ways to get to that happy state.
As Pearl S. Buck said,’ – Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that’s where I renew my springs that never dry up.”
This is such a powerful quote with so much truth in it. When we take a break from all external things, look inwards, and focus on ourselves, we discover ourselves and reinvent ourselves. We find the strengths that help us navigate our lives.
One thing is certain: we don’t always need a company to live our lives. Our own company could also do the trick. One must know and believe that being alone does not mean being lonely. Just because you choose to be alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. In fact, you could be lonely in a room full of people if you do not connect with them. Being there could be a total waste of time for you. Conversely, spending that time with yourself could enrich your life much more because you could be doing something fulfilling and productive.
What does being alone mean? Being alone means spending time in your company. It means taking a break from everything around, taking a pause, reflecting, and doing some soul searching. You will be surprised how this exercise can uncover facets of your personality and help you discover yourself, things, and interests that may have been hidden from you.
When you are constantly in the company of others, you are making them in charge of your life. Most of the time, you follow other people, fashions, and trends without understanding if that is what you really want to do. It’s more like being part of a herd mentality. There is no need to do that. Don’t be dependent on things, people, and circumstances that could be transient and temporary. They are external to you and hence not dependable. It would be much better to depend on yourself and take charge of your happiness.
I believe that life is lonely; many of us will face situations when we have to be alone at some point in life, so why not prepare ourselves for it; why not learn how to live alone? So, therefore, for your peace of mind, and mental and emotional health, spending some time in solitude in your own company is a great idea.