Ask Me: My Teenage Daughter Is Very Aggressive And Uses Abusive Language, What Do I Do?

Q.  My teenage daughter is very aggressive, she spends the entire day listening to music and watching videos of one of her favorite bands. I also observed that she uses very inappropriate and abusive language while chatting with her friends, what do I do? 

KU:  This is a very common problem in today’s times. Children show behavioral addiction and are unable to stop a specific behavior, display lack of control, aggression, or obstinacy.

We all enjoy music but if a teenager is constantly exposed to music with lyrics that refer to casual lifestyle, casual relationships, consumption of alcohol or use of abusive language, they are bound to get influenced.

Teenagers have a tendency of engaging in risky behaviour and act in an impulsive manner without being bothered of the outcome or consequences.

They are at a very vulnerable age and can easily get influenced by their favourite celebrities or artists.

Any addiction undergoes a particular pattern of initiation, experimentation, regular usage, risky use, dependence, and finally crisis and treatment.

If you find your child’s behavior is severe and they’re losing track, you must go for proper interventions.

Programs for specialized training for behavior by a professional can educate adolescents about the warning signs of addiction.

As a parent/guardian you should monitor their use of the internet.

If teens are finding it difficult to resist, then they will see the below signs:

  1. They will experience pleasure and lack of control, when they indulge in it.
  2. High frequency of engagement in that behavior
  3. High duration of indulgence
  4. Academics and relationships may get impacted
  5. Increasing interpersonal conflicts

As a parent, here are some tips for you:

  1. Keep your children informed about the negative consequences of overusing the internet.
  2. ‘Walk the talk’ – you will have to set the right example, so spend time in activities with your child and limit your internet usage when you are with them.
  3. Monitor your teen child using the internet. Help them understand the appropriate methods of surfing.
  4. Help your children to understand their online habits, and reintegrate previous activities and lifestyle.
  5. Parents should spend more time with their children to prevent loneliness, stress, depression, anxiety etc.

Kavita Upadhyay

Student counsellor and has expertise in teaching psychology, career counselling, stress management and gender issues. Kavita is also an expert practitioner in marital counselling, life skills, interaction with community, research and tool construction.

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