“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is Letting Go” – Herman Hesse
Guilty as charged! I have held on to grudges for long enough for them to disrupt my happiness. My mind used to constantly race with thoughts trying to understand why specific incidents happened in my life the way they did. I was plagued with issues that I really couldn’t do anything about. The phrase “Let go” used to annoy me. Letting go of my grudges meant forgetting or excusing those people who caused me the pain and hurt.
Until, I was introduced to the idea that letting go is a choice I need to make so that I no longer ponder on things that are out of my control, and lay emphasis on what I can control. Letting go is not forgetting, it is to stop holding or gripping (something or someone).
Letting go is an exercise that needs to be done daily.
Practices for letting go –
Phase 1: Acknowledge there are things/feelings you need to let go of right now – Acknowledging the presence of emotional hurt is necessary before we can let it go.
Phase 2: Accept the emotional hurt- Through acceptance of what exactly is happening with you in the present moment, you are allowing yourself permission to be as you are, feel what you feel.
Phase 3: Change the mindset – Let go of the idea that you can control other’s actions. You only have control over yourself. Allow yourself permission to imagine a happy future that is way better and brighter than the past.
Here is how you can kickstart the journey of Letting Go –
- Practice gentle flow yoga/meditation to help you be in the present moment
- Remind yourself that the anger is greater than the person that caused the anger
- Get verbose and do not hesitate to convey your thoughts to the person who hurt you
- Hang placards with affirmations – for eg:
- “I let go of all expectations”
- “I am ready to move forward with my life”
- “I release the past with ease and trust the process of life”
- Allow yourself to focus your energy on the things you can control, rather than on the things that you cannot
- Cry out your negative feelings
- Practice Empathy
- Reach out to a counselling therapist
Remember the process of letting go needs a lot of work and cannot happen with a snap of a finger. Letting go does not mean moving on. It means eliminating bits of your life which no longer bring you happiness and leaving them where they came from.
The process of letting go is not the same for everyone as each one is fighting their own battle. All you have to know that wherever you are right now, is okay.
Trust the process, believe in yourself, love yourself. You will let it go!